Heza-chan

Hey everyone! I have no idea how many of your are still active on here, but I decided to write a long journal anyway.

Just as the title says, I'm back living in America. Yep. And it's weird. Like really weird. Last time was last summer during my vacation days and it was only for a week, so it didn't affect me as much. That and all the places we went to back in Utah are big tourist spots and there were a lot of foreigners, so it didn't really feel like being back in normal everyday American society. Now I am, and I stick out like a sore thumb just as much as I was the only white person in my neighborhood in Korea. I can actually understand people around me now again, and while that's nice, I'm so used to everyone NOT understanding me and me not being able to just chat randomly that my routine is thrown off. I'm now sleeping in a lot more, where I used to wake up at 5:30 in the morning on the dot no matter when I went to bed. Everything is just weird.

But that doesn't mean I'm not working on getting back into society. Because I was actually able to save a real income I actually have money, and since I'm moving back to Salt Lake in Utah next month on my own (with a very close and dear friend) there were big priorities. Like getting a car, and a new phone. Both have been checked. I officially own my very first car. A used but really nice silver 2012 Subaru Impreza to be exact. Lots of monthly bills. It feels weird driving again after riding taxis, buses, trains, and planes for the past two years. And my new phone is now literally the TARDIS. Got myself a TARDIS wallet style phone case from Etsy, the home screen is Eleven's first console room (my personal favorite of them all, followed very closely by Nine's and Ten's) so it's bigger on the inside, and the ringtone is the classic TARDIS noise. My dad calls me so many times just to hear it go off. LOL

I missed out seeing and/or meeting Matt Smith, Karen Gillan, and Billie Piper a couple months ago when they were at Salt Lake Comic Con. I literally cried since people I know were posting their pics with them on facebook and all the others that bombarded tumblr. Because I'm not missing out on anymore fandom related things (cough the Doctor Who World Tour in Korea when Peter Capaldi and Jenna Coleman came and I missed them at the airport in Korea by just a few hours cough AND missing them by a day when they were filming Peter's very first scenes as the Doctor when I was in Cardiff last January) I made sure to buy my VIP ticket as soon as they were available. Yay my very first Comic Con!! And I learned last night that we can vote for people to return and if there are enough votes they will try to get them back (and it helps that Salt Lake is nearly as huge as San Diego, so they get A LOT of really good guests). Karen has already been to Salt Lake twice in less than a year, but maybe, just maybe if my lucky wishes come true, Matt will return. I of course voted for everyone who was on the list of new or old guests who have been in Who besides Matt, Karen, and Billie, like David Tennant (whom I'm also in love with through Broadchurch and The Decoy Bride, one of my top 3 absolute favorite romantic comedies, please watch it; he's so adorable I want to hit myself with a shovel), Alex Kingston (don't even get me started), Arthur Darvill (BBBBYYYY), Colin Baker (whom I just recently found out will be in a future episode of Vic's Star Trek Continues I'M IN THE CREDITS OF THE SAME PROJECT AS THE DOCTOR AHHHHHH), and Paul McGann (the freaking love of my life for classic Doctors I love him so stupidly much). Out of all these guys surly at least one or two of them will make an appearance. Matt will always be 'my Doctor', but all of them are really important to me and I love them all so so much, but...but...Matt. *sigh* I did not know when I started watching Who I would love him so much. I didn't expect to like Matt at all to be honest since I was like so many other and thought he was too young, but he and his Doctor alike speak to me so incredibly personally it literally scares me to see someone I can can identify with that much on a stupid tv or computer screen.

But anyway, I've only been back for around two weeks, so nothing big has really happened yet. Oh! I finally can touch my Doctor Who series 1-7 blu-ray set, and I bought Time of the Doctor and Last Christmas on my very first trip back to Walmart. LOL So I just need series 8 now, but that will have to wait a bit since it's so expensive. And I bought prints of these absolutely beautiful art pieces by Adele here on DA.         I'm so incredibly tempted to commission her, but money...

But yep! That's it for now! Back in America and living so far. LOL Just wanted to let everyone know I am still here if you are, and I'm going to try to work on art again once I'm settled in Utah again. I really do want to play around with a few ideas I've had building up, and I owe gift art like no other to some special peeps. So here's to my hopeful more regular return!

First thing's first....I really hate this new setup. Don't like it at all...........

I'm really sorry guys. I just wanted to let you all know I'm still here and will be more active as soon as I can, at least with messages. I've been incredibly busy with my work schedule, I've regained somewhat of a social life, and my computer has been broken for two weeks on top of that. The only time I have access to the internet is at work, and it's work, so that can only happen when actual work is finished which means very limited internet time, so yeah. Haven't had internet at all during the weekends because of that. That's my life right now.

As for art, I'm trying to get back into my normal run of things. I found out a few weeks ago I'm going through a really strange case of depression. I'm perfectly fine, so everything is okay, which is why it took so long to realize it. I'm not sad at all, and I don't feel like I did last time when I just wanted everything to end. I've simply been completely unable to motivate myself to do anything aside from going to work. I can't even bring myself to do the things I really want or need to do like draw, put my puzzle together, write, or keep my place clean. Even eating sometime's feels like a chore. That's the depression I've had, which is very different. And I've been pretty lonely which is the prime reason I'm going through it, but that is mending thanks to my special group of friends I have here, so hopefully I won't feel like this soon.

I have to say though, it's really hard when you have fallen for someone who is actually from England and he actually acknowledges your existance without you having to remind him. But everyone else is in love with him, too, naturally, so yeah. lol But I'm happy that he at least talks to me and we have a normal friendship. I don't know, but when it comes to men specifically, conversation always ends up feeling really awkward and it always seems like they have to speak to me just because I'm in their presence. Recently though I've actually been able to make actual guy friends, which it a huge thing for me. I've wanted the experience of an actual relationship for a long time, but even just friendships with actual men would have made me happy as well because it has never really existed in my life (sad huh?), and that seems to be happening right now, so I'm estatic over it. LOL XDDD

But yeah, that's what's going on right now. Nothing too exciting, but it's been a long time since I've really talked with anyone. Hope everyone is doing okay, and if you reply to this and don't get a response for a while, my broken computer is the reason why, with very limited internet time right now. It should be fixed soon...or at least I hope so. LOL

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Okay, now that I got that out of my system...I don't think anyone here has any idea how ridiculously stupidly excited I am I can hardly control myself!! No. Really. It's been 8 months. Since Christmas Day. I've had nothing happen in any of my fandoms (not that there are many anyway XD) in all this time and all my excitement is kind of erupting. LOL Just a little over 13 hours to go! I'll be updating this again after I see the episode and then go in all out geek mode with my mom over it since she's just as excited as I am. Yep. My mom has successfully finished watching the entirety of it and is now looking forward to each new episode every week. I also need to talk about her geekness during my vacation time back with them when we went to all the film locations back home in Utah. She actually brought Doctor Who up more than I did, having got all of these pictures from the filming and screenshots from the episodes on her tablet so she could look at them and know exactly where everyone stood. XDDD I officially have a mom who geeks out over something with me. She's really sad that she has to give me my Christmas present of the series on blu-ray once I move back home. XD But yeah! I can't believe it's finally here!! And I know for sure I'm going to cry like an idiot. But when does this show NOT make me cry? XD

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I know not many read my journals now, especially when it comes to this stuff, but if anything this is for my own personal log to go back to and read when I want.

Okay, now that two episodes have passed I'm just dying over here now. I love Capaldi so much I can't take it. And I was excited about him before I even started watching the show. lol Ah, my favorite story. I literally skipped my year anniversary of when I started watching it through time travel. My flight back to Korea from my vacation time with my family back in America left on the day of my anniversary (and my parents and sister all felt pretty bad about it LOL), but because of the 16 hour time difference I left at 7 or so in the morning and didn't get to Korea until 4 in the afternoon the next day, that entire time spent on the plane. lol On top of that, I missed Capaldi and Jenna by only a few hours at the airport in Korea when they were here for the World Tour. I just laugh about how many freaking times I've missed seeing "The Doctor", like a fail version of Clara. Missed Matt during his filming in Utah when he was only about 2 hours away, missed Capaldi twice right before and right after I was in Cardiff, and Matt and David Tennant were both in London when I was there for the plays they were in, and then I missed Capaldi and Jenna AGAIN here in Korea. Four countries I've missed them. LOL

But anyway, Deep Breath, Capaldi's first episode, wasn't short of anything but glorious. I'm sorry, but I adore Steven Moffat and his writing as a whole. There are a few bumps here and there, but the style of his I'm in love with. And by God I didn't know I was capable of loving Clara more than I already did. I could not for the life of me choose a favorite companion because all of them are so special to me (even out of the classic Who companions), but I was really leaning towards Clara for quite a while. After Deep Breath and Into the Dalek though, she has definitely earned that place. Eleven and Twelve are tied because I have my reasons (though Eleven will always be my biggest emotional attachment). It is kind of hard seeing so many things I loved about Eleven absent now. I was prepared for it, but actually seeing it now finally has hit pretty hard at random times. But freaking hell I love Twelve so much it's stupid. It's a really really weird mixture of the feeling of lose but gaining something amazing at the same time. It's a roller coaster of emotions I have to say. I can go off for another week about analysing the Doctor, but that's for my friends who are into it like me, and my mom who is the biggest dork about trying to control her nerdness over it, to be a "civil adult". XD

One other thing that is so incredibly fun is seeing Capaldi, Jenna, and other guest stars at so many specific places I with to with . Like the exact places we stood and hung out. I just love being able to say "I've been there!" so many times while watching it. LOL But anyway, that's where I'll stop for now. Two episodes in and it's absolutely incredible. I just love this show so much, and I can't wait to be able to actually watch it with others when I move back to America in February. Oh, yeah, that's happening. I decided to move back when my contract ends the end of this school year. But that's another whole story in itself. Haha!

My awesome gal Jenna/Speedy did a tag thing and it's been a while since I've done one, so I stole it. lol So she asked:

1: When was your last appointment to the dentist and do you like the dentist? *Evil smile*
To be honest, I can't remember. It's been a long time. Probably back in 2011. I used to go every 6 months, but after turning 24 and not having insurance I couldn't afford it even if I wanted to go. I act like I don't care, but I actually do fear it because my teeth are pretty sensitive and I get cavities more often than I would like (though even though I haven't been to the dentist in so long I'm surprised nothing has come up or have bothered me).

2: What's your favorite kind of cereal?
This is a strange one because I don't eat cereal the same way as everyone else. I don't do milk. Hate it hate it hate it. So I eat the flaky or granola like cereals, and I put it in yogurt instead.

3: Last video game you played?
Not quite sure with this one either since it's been at least since last Febrary since I've played a single video game. I think it may have been Super Smash Bros. at my kind of going away party with Wyatt (who plays Chekov in Vic's Star Trek Continues lol). Or else I might have played a bit of Tales of Symphonia before leaving since it's my all time favorite game. But my mom bought me a TARDIS blue 3DS XL along with Pokemon X and Y and Zelda: Ocarina of Time (that I've never played ever before), that I'll get next week when I visit my family I'm so excited!! I'll be able to play games again!!! 8DDDDD And I'm planning on printing the "Police Public Call Box" strip on sticker paper to stick on the thing, so my freaking game system with be a mini TARDIS. LOL XDDD

5: Last Anime you watched?
I'm actually watching the new series of Mushi-shi. God did I never think it would be continued, and I couldn't be happier. It's one of the few anime I just flatout enjoy more in English (and ever since moving to Korea dubs just appeal to me more since I hear a foreign language in Asia almost 24/7, so I want my bit of English), and from what I understand Aniplex of America licensed it. If they don't get Travis back though I won't even bother, because that's just as bad as thinking of replacing him and Vic as Roy and Ed.

6: Do you have any pets?
Kind of. I mean, my parents have our cat who is the whole family's. She belonged to my grandma before she passed away, so we adopted her. So even if I don't have any pets physically living with me right now, I still count our cat. ^^

7: What's a special moment in your life?
Is it cheating if I think every moment is special? I complain a lot yes, but I love my life and am so incredibly thankful for it. I mean, I guess if you want to be specific, the days I met my best friends, the days I receive adorable letters from Jenna (and any messages and/or chats with my friends and family back home), and my holiday trip with Brie to England and Wales in January, I guess those are the most special things that immediately pop to mind and memory. But I just met a new amazing group of friends that I've really been lacking here who love Doctor Who, and they've invited me to hang out with them all the time, so that's really special as well.

8: Favorite anime?
Mushi-shi. Still think it's massively underrated.

9: Do you have a library card?
Nope. Can't really read the selection they have here in Korea. XD

10: What's the weirdest/funniest thing that's happened to you?
I'm not sure about an ever answer, but the funniest that was most recent was when I was at a work training thing a few weekends ago with other native teachers and their Korean co-teachers, and someone thought my name was strange. Heather Wheat. Pretty plain minus that I'm named after a Scottish flower and my last name is a grain. But it was the first time someone caught on to that and commented about it. They weren't being mean by any means at all, and it made me laugh. It was just weird to hear someone think my name out of all things was strange when there's Benedict Cumberbatch in this world. LOL

So the Doctor Who World Tour event was just announced where Peter Capaldi and Jenna Coleman are going to 7 cities around the world to promote the new series of Doctor Who and introduce Capaldi as the new Doctor. I cannot believe Korea is on this list. Yes, they are promoting Doctor Who in Korea, finally something is happening here that actually matters, as I can't go to conventions and can't meet anyone from any of the shows I love because that kind of stuff doesn't exist here.

And guess what? It may be a day or two before I return from my one break I get from visiting my family in America. Yep. I'm torn from being excited and beyond angry (dates aren't set yet) because as usually and my luck, I'm not granted the chance to meet people, whether they are celebraties or making friends who I can talk to and count on, because I'm cut off from everything here. Sure, I have scouted filming locations and such, but that's not meeting someone from the cast. Or even just going to an event that relates to something you love. Like all there is here when it comes to "live entertainment" is K-pop, and as a whole I honestly don't like it and don't care about seeing Korean idols.

But anyway, yeah, I work my ass off, am completely alone, and have nothing to do, and then this happens and there's a really big chance that I'll miss it. That's my life for you.